Earlier this year, Dad bods were all the rage (still not sure why), but a new parental trend is about to sweep through millennials: the grandma attitude.
You’ve probably been noticing this trend more frequently, and chances are you might already have it without even realizing you are well on your way toward being a full-blown Grandma. The grandma attitude is when you don’t have time for the silly youths around you. You’re the wise grandparent of your friend group and you don’t give a literal f*ck. If you experience the following, you might want to consult a physician and get checked to see if you have the Grandma attitude.
1. Going out is a process for you.
You don’t dislike going out, sometimes you even look forward to it, but it needs to match all the right requirements. It can’t be too far away, you can’t leave the house too late, and you definitely refuse to wear heels. The idea of standing around all night with uncomfortable feet makes you question why anybody would ever bother to attempt such a feat.
Instead, you like going to bars (or even better, barbecues) where you know most of the friends you’re seeing, and won’t have bizarre young people rubbing against you with their strange dance moves. And when you’re ready to go, you’re so effin’ ready to go it’s not even funny. There is no such thing as a second wind for you. You’re friends will have another red bull vodka at 2am so they can keep going. Meanwhile, you’re ready for pizza and Netflix and you will even walk home alone if it means you don’t have to spend another minute in this sleazy saloon.
2. You dislike sleeping the day away.
Another aspect of going out that you dislike is the recuperation the next day. It isn’t worth getting drunk, staying out late, and then sleeping the day away. You enjoy actually doing something with your Sunday morning. You have errands to run, you want to hit the gym, and there’s a book on your nightstand you’ve been meaning to start for over a week. While everybody else is rolling out of bed and into brunch you’ve completed everything you couldn’t do during the week because you had to work.
Your friends say you’re very responsible, but really you just prefer prioritizing your time in the most efficient way possible. FOMO is a thing of the past for you, and you’ve learned to accept your mother’s words that, “nothing good happens past 1am.” She wasn’t talking about drugs and sex, she literally meant nothing fun happens after 1am. The only thing you have to look forward to at that point is painful shoes, wasted friends, and bar fights.
3. You’re the friend everybody goes to for advice.
You’re wise beyond your years and your friends always come to you when they have an “ish.” (Sidenote: I overheard some cool youths recently use the word “ish.” My sources tell me it stands for issue).
You have encountered something in your past that makes you a good listener. Whether it was a slew of awful relationships or a past involving depression and anxiety issues, your friends know you’ve had the experiences that allow you to grow old and wise beyond your years, so they come to you with their problems. You enjoy listening to them rant about their lives and you try your best to actually help them, if they want to listen. Sometimes, they just need to know how to correctly cook a chicken, so you help them with that too.
4. You know the importance of quality over quantity.
Three boxes of wine for $16 on sale at the grocery store? You’re going to have to pass. You’ve been down the road of bad quality before and you know where it leads. You appreciate the finer things for a little extra money, rather than throwing it away on something you probably won’t enjoy. A quality meal is worth more to you than ten from Taco Bell and a small group of close friends will benefit your life more than a huge gaggle of 27 girlfriends.
5. You are a bed snob.
If you’re anything like me, you have gotten in at least one fight with your friends over this. You cannot understand why somebody would willingly choose to stay later and crash on the floor, rather than leave a little earlier so they can sleep in their bed.
If a hot guy/girl wants to hook up, that’s great but they better come to your bed. “Oh, you can’t make it? Yeah that’s okay, I wasn’t really in the mood anyway. I’ll see you next week.” Forfeiting quality time with your pillow seems so unnecessary. You only have a third of your life to sleep. Why would you voluntarily give up any of that precious time?
[Featured Image Credit:Evil Erin via Flickr]
5 Signs You Have The ‘Grandma Attitude’ is an article from: LifeDaily