Flirtationship: you’re not dating in any form, but you’re also not just friends. You run in the same circles as this person and interact often enough. Naturally flirting ensues
Use it in a sentence: Pauline and I are involved in an intensely heated flirtationship. Every time I walk past her knitting circle, we have really intense eye-contact. I just want to throw my walker against the wall, and then pin her to it.
F*cktationship: the complex realm commonly called “friends with benefits.” Is it a relationship? Are there feelings? Nobody knows…
Use it in a sentence: I hear Clarence is in a f*cktationship with Thelma after they hooked up at Gertrude’s retirement party last week. Thelma told me she doesn’t want to date anybody though, so they just sleep with each other once or twice a week.
Expectationship: When you meet somebody that you vaguely connect with. You like them enough to text them once or twice a week, but it’s too inconvenient to actually make plans with them. One day, it’ll happen, I swear…
Use it in a sentence: I met this girl Mildred in the gift shop three weeks ago and we keep saying we’re going to meet up, but she lives all the way on the third floor. I’ve got this great expectationship going with her, though, so I know we’ll meet up eventually.
Desperationship: when you date somebody because you don’t want to be alone, or because you need to be with somebody for some oddly specific reason
Use it in a sentence: The more I think about it, I’m pretty sure I’m in a desperationship with Gladys. I’m seeing my wife from my second marriage next week at my former step-sons wedding, and I can’t go to that alone.
Consolationship: when you go though a break-up and you need a rebound to get over your ex
Use it in a sentence: Clyde is definitely using Agnes for a consolationship, but after what happened with Maybelle, who could blame him?
Infatuationship: when you’re head over heels infatuated with somebody that barely registers your existence, and definitely does not think of you as a sexual being
Use it in a sentence: I’m in an infatuationship with Dr. Fitz. He thinks I keep coming into his office because I’m in pain from my hip replacement, but really I just like looking into those dreamy blue eyes. I feel like I’m 47 again!
Elationship: when you are involved with somebody that keeps you at arms length. Because you are a lot more invested than the are, you feel giddy excitement whenever they reach out to you
Use it in a sentence: I know Edgar is stringing me along with an elationship and I should tell him to stick it, but I just like him so much and it feels so good when I see his name pop up on my cell phone (providing I have my reading glasses, of course).
Affirmationship: when you sleep with somebody because you like them, but also because they think your insanely hot (and they aren’t afraid to vocalize it).
Use it in a sentence: Hattie isn’t really dating Maxine. She’s just using her for her own affirmationship to prove that she’s still got it going on.
Associationship: When you interact with an attractive person very regularly, due to having a similar routine, but you don’t actually know them. You just frisk each other with your eyes every time you pass by.
Use it in a sentence: I’m in an associationship with this really attractive guy. I see him every time I walk into the cafeteria, just as he’s walking out, but I’ve never met him and we don’t know each other.
Levitationship: When you date Harry Potter
Use it in a sentence: After the doctor gives me my pills at the end of the day, I feel like I’m in a levitationship with Harry Potter.
[Featured Image Credit: Jake Stimpson via Flickr]