Some people collect stamps, other’s collect coins: this one collects you.
He probably took you out on a date and swept you off your feet. He wasn’t a perfect gentleman, actually he was probably far from it, but you feel like you could just let yourself fall for him. He’s dangerous, exciting, and comforting all rolled into one attractive man.
Unfortunately, he’s probably done this before and he knows exactly what you want to hear. If he has any of the following traits, I suggest you run, don’t walk to the nearest exit. He’s likely a collector of women and he’s going to try to put you on one of his many shelves.
1. He comes on strong and fast.
Chances are you met this guy in a place you weren’t expecting to meet him. He didn’t try to pick you up in a bar or hit you up on Tinder, he simply walked up to you at work and made small talk. He connected with you intimately, simply with his gaze. It’s like the world fell to the wayside and you were the only thing in his world (along with the butterflies swimming in your stomach).
He was into you from the second he laid eyes on you and wasted no time asking you out. You were surprised by how quickly it happened and said yes partly because of your surprise, but mostly because of his confidence.
Unfortunately, he’s been around the block a time or two and he knows exactly how to use the tactics of shock and awe (which also happens to be a strategy employed by the U.S. military). Don’t be fooled. While he’s sweeping you off your feet, he’s got at least three other girls in line, waiting for a ride on his broomstick.
2. His honesty is equally shocking.
Men who collect women are pros with their prose. He will open up to you intimately. His honestly will fool you into believing he feels a connection with you, and honestly, he probably does feel something for you. He also feels a connection for her, and her, and her, and also her.
Men that collect women are good with them because they know how to be genuine in the moment and they’ve had tons of experience perfecting that feeling. They are skilled at reading people and might even have a career that allows them to use that skill (think about a salesman reading the body language of his client). He knows how to create a demand so strong, he doesn’t even have to sell it.
3. He sets standards for you.
One of the beautiful tactics a collector of women will use is setting standards. He takes note of things about you and gives you a twisted compliment. For example, he’ll say, “you have red hair. I’m a sucker for girls with red hair.”
Now before you go flipping your hair, notice how he didn’t say he liked you, he just likes all girls with red hair. He sets the bar for you, and you meet it–for now. When he raises the bar later, you’ll find yourself doing backwards pullups trying to meet it. After all, if you were once so aligned with his standards, why aren’t you meeting them now?
Men that collect women do this because they like the control. When he says, “jump,” he wants you asking, “how high?” That way, he always has you exactly where he wants you: atop his shelf with all his other collector’s edition trophies.
4. He’s intelligent and well-read.
Men who know how to collect women also know how to read people and adjust. He probably has some kind of deep, artsy perspective of the world. Maybe he’s majoring in philosophy or identifies as a male feminist. Whatever the case may be, you feel drawn to him and intimidated by him.
Chances are, he is actually intelligent, which makes him somebody worth being around. However, he also uses it to make you feel inferior. He purposely intimidates you and then acts surprised that you feel self-conscious around him. His mercurial attitude throws you for a loop while simultaneously drawing you in.
5. He warns you that you should stay away from him.
I’ve noticed in my life that when people say they’re only going to hurt me, they are always right. The irony of the situation is that he uses this “transparency” to lure you in. He lays down the gauntlet from the start, informing you that he has a tendency to break hearts.
If he tells you to run, he’s presenting a challenge while remaining a good guy. After all, when he stomps on your heart in a few months, you won’t be able to say you didn’t see this coming.
6. He triangulates you.
This is a personal favorite of men that collect women. The skill is a classic that works every time. He’ll mention that he dates multiple women at the same time. It’s all part of his cultured, laid back attitude and his desire to experience the world.
At first, he’ll act like you’re the pick of the litter. He admires all your traits, building up your confidence as he calmly tears down other women. But then something will change and he’ll begin to place them on a pedestal that you can’t quite reach. You’ll begin to feel a slight need to compete for his attention and you find yourself hating her, even though you don’t even know her.
Guess what? She feels the same way about you. He’ll pit his options against each other and have you fight for his attention. It makes him feel important and desirable. You’ll never win this battle, but there is a way to lose. Stick around for a while and you’ll lose yourself in your constant desire to win him over.
Men that collect women can’t be won.
He’ll never give you the attention you deserve and you’ll never feel yourself around him. You’ll always find yourself struggling to be what he wants you to be. The quickest way to lose is to get invested. Run away from this guy. Run far, far away.
[Featured Image Credit: Telegraph]