“Never compare your insides to somebody else’s outsides.”
A college professor told my class this piece of wisdom before we graduated, and I think about those words almost everyday. Every time I check Facebook and see a classmate getting a job with a well-known corporation or moving into their new city apartment, I tell myself those words. Every time I see a snap from a friend who’t out at a concert or partying on a rooftop, I remind myself of it again.
People present their best “self” to the world and put out the image they want to world to see of them. Often these images are not an accurate display of who we are. Only I can know what is inside me and only they can know what is inside them. Therefore, if they show the world success and partying, good for them. I hope they achieve their goals. In the meantime, I’m making my way down my own path toward success and I won’t be influenced by other people’s goals or what the world tells me I should be. If you do find yourself easily influenced, take a look at these stages of life, and reconsider that nobody can tell you where you should be and what you should be doing with your life.
1. What your physical appearance should look like:
High school is over. You no longer need to dress like the cheerleaders nor do you need to be an emo kid to fit in with all the other non-conformists. If you want to dress like a hipster, dress like a hipster. If you don’t like the pressure to be in shape, then say, “screw it,” and pass up the gym membership. The world will try to tell you how to look. Take it with a grain of salt, look inward, and move on.
2. How you should spend your Friday night:
If you really want to go out and party, go out and party the effin night away. If you really want to take a hot bath and forget about the world, do that too. If you really want to take a walk through your neighborhood contemplating your life’s decisions, do it. There is no right or wrong way to spend a Friday night and don’t let the fear of missing out cause you to miss out on being content with yourself.
3. Whether or not you “should” feel guilt or regret:
If you mess up and you don’t feel guilty, that’s okay. If you think you should express empathy but can’t, that’s also okay. Everybody is at a different stage of emotional awareness and if something doesn’t evoke a strong reaction from you, take note of it and move on. Maybe you just aren’t at that level of emotional depth yet.
4. Taking part in cultural staples:
Your best friend is moving in with her boyfriend, meanwhile you have yet to encounter a stable relationship? That’s okay. You don’t need to be pressured into meeting certain stages and you will get there if you choose to do so.
The best way to end up in an unstable and unhealthy situation is by allowing the world to pressure you into it. If you aren’t ready for a relationship, that’s fine. If you don’t want to have kids, that’s okay too. The world will try to dictate your life. Accept this as unavoidable, feel the flow, and press forward.
5. Choosing between religious tradition, spirituality, and atheism:
Is it me, or is everybody very spiritual these days? I still encounter religious people, but everybody seems to be mainly unaffiliated and subscribing to the spirituality of the universe. If spirituality works for you, go for it. If you don’t get it, don’t feel pressured to get it.
If you want to follow a conventional religion, that’s great and it you want to follow no religion, that’s great too. We don’t know what lies beyond this world and what the nature of reality is. Don’t let the people around try to dictate your most fundamental beliefs.
[Featured Image Credit: Thomas8047 via Flcikr]