“Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of yourself.”
Supermodel Tyra Banks gave us this quote. While I can’t be certain Tyra knows anything about inner beauty, she certainly knows her stuff when it comes to outer beauty.
Tyra makes an important point here, however. We often think of self-love as having to do with accepting ourselves on the outside. However, self-love is about the inner and personal relationship you have with your true self. It means that you love and accept your physical flaws. It also means that you love and accept your mental flaws.
It’s about taking the plunge to reflect, identify the ways you’ve acted sh*tty in the past, loving yourself despite that, and then working to change what can be pushed into another direction. Self-loves boils down to acceptance of yourself and changing for the better.
1. Try meditation
It’s fairly easier than you’d think. There are many guided meditation’s on YouTube shorter than 15 minutes. Simply put in some headphones, sit still, and listen.
Meditation also isn’t about completely clearing your mind. It’s about counting the thoughts the come into your brain. What anxieties and excitements recently pop up in your head? What do you routinely think about on any given day? Take note and your thoughts may surprise you.
2. Volunteer with animals
You can also volunteer with just about anything too, whether it’s children, the homeless, or on an organic farm. Giving up time for the sake of helping another person will empower you to like yourself more.
“They” say no deed is truly selfless; even something as selfless as volunteer work is a selfish act. If this is true, it’s because volunteering and improving another’s life feels very good and helps you love yourself more.
3. Practice Yoga
I originally got into yoga for one reason and one reason only:
What began as a biweekly ritual of torture, quickly turned into a spiritual escape. My instructor told us we were children of the universe and she gave us a safe space in which we didn’t have to carry our daily burdens.
I originally attended because I was concerned with what other people thought of my outer appearance, but I continued to attend because my mind simply needed an escape. I thought less about my vanity and more about my mental health.
4. Perform a random act of kindness
Buy a stranger their morning cup of joe or pay the toll of the person behind you. Don’t do it because you want to be nice to somebody, do it because you’re a smug asshole who wants to walk around the rest of the day thinking you’re better than everybody.
But seriously…do a nice act for somebody and it will make you feel good. Don’t brag about it on social media, don’t film the experience, simply do it and then quietly hold it in your heart.
5. Give a sincere compliment to somebody
Don’t just tell your co-worker that you like her sweater. Tell her that you admire her organizational skills because it makes your life easier and you value having her in the office. Compliments to one’s outer appearance are nice, but compliments to one’s inner self make us all shine.
6. Hug a friend
Next time you get coffee with a girlfriend, don’t just vent about your problems. Sincerely listen to hers too. Try to connect with your friends on a deeper level and tell them you need a good hug.
Really give this person a full-body, shoulder-swinging, full-blown hug. When was the last time you gave or received this kind of hug? It makes everybody feel better.
7. Spend time in nature
…and dare I say it; try to work up a sweat. Take a brisk walk or sit by a pond. It will clear your head and give you a sense of peace. If you can make a habit of this, it will regularly clear your mind and often give you sense of peace.
It will also give you a chance to reflect, a deeper sense of identity, and a greater love for yourself.
8. Take note of how you talk to yourself
Do you ever catch yourself saying: “wow, Michelle, you are such an idiot. I can’t believe I did that. That was so ridiculous and now that person probably thinks you have a personality disorder. You are so dump.”
If a friend talked to you like that, you’d immediately cut off all communication. However, you allow yourself to talk to you like that?
Try taking note of the times you talk condescendingly to yourself and turn it into positive self-talk instead.
[Featured Image Credit: Paul Cleary via Flickr]