Bad relationships can happen to anyone. Even the strongest, most confident people can fall into the quicksand of an unhealthy relationship, and if this happens to your friend, you’ll want to pull them out as fast as you can.
Unfortunately, they may not be ready for your intervention, and you may do more harm than good by trying to convince them to ditch a partner who doesn’t make your friend feel loved and supported.
Take a look at these 5 tips to help your friend in a bad relationship without hurting your own friendship.
5. Leave the judgment behind.
If your friend is in a bad relationship, it’s not if, but when they’ll get hurt or heartbroken. And when that does eventually happen, your friend will need your love and support instead of your judgement. This is definitely not the time for an “I told you so” speech, so sit back and let them get things off their chest. It may seem like your not doing anything, but you’re letting your friend work through issues, and providing the opportunity to make changes.
There’s a time and a place to gently express your concerns and point out unhealthy patterns, but if your friend feels judged when they just need someone to listen to them, you’ll ending up damaging the relationship and pushing your friend away.
4. Be compassionate.
Remember that we’ve all made mistakes and let love cloud our judgement. You may never be able to understand what your friend feels for their partner, and why they are still together, but there’s a reason your friend fell in love with them in the first place.
There may be underlying issues for why your friend hasn’t moved on already, and you need to provide unwavering support and love to help them work through the situation and grow as a person.
3. Communicate your concerns the right way.
While it may be completely obvious to you that your friend is dating someone who’s not worth their time, they clearly haven’t come to that understanding just yet. And if you don’t communicate your concerns the right way, they possibly never will.
Remember that your friend will be highly sensitive, defensive, and insecure about the topic, so be careful not to exaggerate or bring your own baggage into the conversation. This conversation needs to be completely honest and logical. Point out things you observe and introduce your concerns.
Don’t expect that one conversation will clear everything up, as it may take weeks or even months before your friend starts to understand and recognize your concerns. Be patient, and give them the time to work through their emotions.
2. Remember your friend ultimately needs to make their own mistakes.
Our natural instinct is to protect the ones we love from harm, but we also have to remember we can’t control another person’s life. As long as your friend isn’t in any serious danger, you have to recognize that ultimately it’s their choice to stay in the relationship or end it.
Although it’s easy to tell from the outside when your friend is making a mistake, they need to learn for themselves in order to make the right decisions and avoid repeating their mistakes.
You may not even notice that your doing this, but it’s natural for you to start spending less time with your friend if you dislike their boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you really care about your friend, you’ll realize that this is not the time to distance yourself.
Depending on how bad the relationship is, you may be the only one to remind your friend that the relationship isn’t healthy, and they’ll need you more than ever if they choose to end things with their partner.
Have you ever had to help a friend in a bad relationship? Let us know if these 5 tips helped the comments below.
[Featured image credit: The CW]