Today, we live in a culture of instant gratification. Want late night Chinese food? Order it off GrubHub and have it there in a half hour or less. Want to know the name of that catchy song playing overhead? Shazam it right now and you’ll have the name, artist, and album title within seconds. Want to meet somebody intelligent and cultured hot and horny? Hop on Tinder and you can have anything from an adventurous date to cheap sex without the hassle of spending time or money at a bar.
Most people swipe through Tinder quickly, passing up or virtually flirting with locals as they please. Most give little consideration to what they display on their profile, but for all my fellow over-analyzers, this one is for you and what you should be avoiding on your Tinder profile.
1. Group Photos
If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars pic.twitter.com/C9U5NOtGap
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 3, 2014
Unless you somehow managed to sneak into the world’s most famous selfie, try to pass on any group photos. We can’t distinguish your face from all the others in the photo, and unless someone in the picture is really dashingly cute, we’re probably too lazy to figure it out.
2. Pictures that Obstruct Your Face
It’s fantastic that you love snowboarding, but unless you’re Shaun White backflipping mid-air, you probably shouldn’t be wearing a ski mask and goggles. That being said, sometimes these kinds of pictures can tell us something insightful and unique about your personality. It’s cool that you enjoy winter sports, snorkeling, or dressing up like the Phantom of the Opera (maybe not that last one), but make sure you have plenty of pictures of your beautiful eyes.
3. Photos that Exaggerates your Level of Attractiveness
Did you know your close friends, family members, and partner(s) find you more subjectively attractive than people who don’t know you? This “positive illusion” effect is due to these people seeing the good in you and viewing you in a biased and brighter light. So when you post a picture on Facebook that frightfully exaggerates your level of looks, they see that as you just being your “best self.”
You know who will view you objectively? People who don’t know you. So if you put up your best Beyonce-level-stunning-selfie that was taken right after you got your hair cut, people might be a little let down if they ever meet you in person. You want that first encounter to be an impressive one. Try to avoid the he-looked-better-online-effect.
4. Your Adorable Puppy
If I see an adorable puppy, I expect to get into a satisfying and emotionally fulfilling relationship with an adorable puppy, to which I will totally swipe right. If I show up to a coffee shop to meet you for the first time, and I am not met by an adorable puppy, I will assume I’m being catfished and immediately storm out.
5. Myspace Mirror Selfies
You know what I’m talking about here. These are the pictures you took back in 2009 with a digital camera in your bathroom mirror. We can see you holding the camera on the side of the frame and there might even be a flash visible in the photo. You should avoid these pictures because they make you look like you are either technologically challenged or as if you don’t want us seeing what you look like right now. If we’re assuming the picture is 5 years old, we’re questioning why you’re not putting up current pictures. And on that same line of thought, try to avoid putting up only selfies.
6. Pictures of You and Your Ex
The only thing this tells me is that you are too apathetic to put effort into your photos. People who put photos of their ex on Tinder are usually too lazy to look for a solo photo. You can be over your ex and still have a picture of the two of you together. But don’t you have any good pictures of you not with a significant other wrapped around your torso?
7. Don’t Tell us you hate Drama
For some reason, the people who claim to hate drama are always the ones most attracted to it. Try to be positive in your bio. If you start out with something you hate, especially if it’s drama, we’re already assuming you’re a negative person that always starts it.
8. Using Cliches to Make Yourself Sound Original
In the year 2011, we all exhausted our use of the “word” YOLO and I think we can safely agree we will never use that trite expression as a tinder byline. Still, try to avoid other similar phrases like, “live every second,” or “carpe diem.” If you need to rely on an overused phrase about stepping outside your comfort zone, chances are you aren’t great at stepping outside your comfort zone. Instead, try to draw us in by telling us something unique about yourself. If you give us a quirky fact, we will want to follow up by asking you about it.
9. Starting a conversation with, “Hey, what’s up?”
C’mon, you can do better than this. I believe in you. I know, if you really commit, you can rack that big brain of yours and come up with something clever, intriguing, or humorous to capture my attention. If the best you can do is ask me, ‘what’s up?’ you’re telling me from the start that you don’t value conversation. At this point, it’s all downhill from here.
10. Being a Cocky, Demanding Jerk
“I’m a Pisces and if that means anything to you, you should probably swipe left.” — actually, that means nothing to me, but now I’m definitely swiping left you arrogant snot. If you sound like you’re judgmental from the start, you’re not going to attract many people. Instead, tell us how you enjoy spending your free time rather than focusing on turning off potential matches.
[Featured Image Credit: Huffington Post]
10 Turnoffs to Avoid on Tinder is a post from: LifeDaily