As the great philosopher Bo Burnham eloquently put it, “love is taking that dive, then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool.”
Love is very similar to cocaine. Your infatuated brain follows the same patterns it would follow on cocaine. You can’t stop thinking about your beloved, your heart flutters, you’re up and then then you’re down. You have all this energy and sleep becomes irrelevant. You find yourself awake at 4am on a work night staring into their eyes talking about your dreams and how incredible you find them.
And then, next thing you know, you’re wearing a stained t-shirt and boxers yelling at your beloved, “can you please put down the toilet seat for the 87th time?!”
Sometimes, your relationship hits a rut. If you expect smooth sailing the whole way through, you’re delusional and may I introduce you to my friend Tinder (because you’re not cut out for an actual relationship). However, if you are looking to put some oomph back in your love life, the following are the relationship equivalent of a defibrillator.
Learn Each Other’s Top Personality Traits
Think you know your partner; think again. The VIA Classification Survey is a really great way to not only know your partner, but also yourself (you have to create a login, but trust me, it’s worth it). Researchers figured out the top 24 personality traits that are the most universal among humans, and then developed a quiz to tell you which ones you align with most.
Have both you and your partner take this quiz (but not together) and then exchange what you discovered about yourself. Take it one step further by planning a date for the other. For example, if your partner has “love of learning” as their top personality trait, take them to a planetarium or museum one Saturday afternoon.
Write Each Other “This is Why I Love You” Notes
Set aside some time one day to write a note to your partner about all the things that make him or her special. Tell them what you thought about them the first time you saw them and reminisce on your first few dates. This is good to try because when you reflect on the honeymoon period, when passion was high and everything was brand new, it brings back those feelings, which are good for the relationship.
Additionally, despite what you might think about cheating, studies often show people stray not because their partner isn’t enough, but because they feel unappreciated and emotionally unsupported by their partner. Writing just one love letter every few months will keep your relationship strong for years.
Set Synchronized Thinking of You Alarms During Your Day
I know, right, how vomit-inducingly adorable can you be? But this is actually one of the best tricks you can do for your relationship. Try doing this once a week with each other. One week you choose the message that will appear on both your phones, and the next week, they set the message. (Bonus: don’t tell them when the alarm will go off.)
You can surprise each other with these “thinking of you” messages by making them a memory, an inside joke, or a sexy thought. Make sure you don’t text them immediately after. Just think about them all day. It will be an aphrodisiac for when you finally get home.
And one more thing: when this alarm goes off, try to resist the urge of explaining its significance to your co-workers who might hear it around you. Trust me, they don’t care.
Learn a New Skill Together
Everybody has an interest they’d like to pursue. Find a class or local group you and your partner can join together. Take a painting class or learn ballroom dancing. If you’re more adventurous, go rock-climbing. You’ll bond while struggling to learn a skill together, it will give you the opportunity to work with each other to achieve something. It will allow you the light-hearted joy of laughing and flirting with each other. You can also make new friends in the process.
Never Stop Dating
At a certain point in the relationship, you’ll be really tempted to trade Saturday night date night for Chinese food and Netflix in pajamas. This is a fine trade, but make sure you avoid falling into a rut. Psychologists recommend going out on a two-hour date each week. Have dinner, go hiking, or simply take a walk. The most important element of the date is engaging in conversation. When you share ideas, dreams, and thoughts with each other, it reinforces your bond.
If you really want a connection, leave your phones in the car. Technology creates a distraction that doesn’t allow us to live fully in the moment with another person. Give your partner your attention, your whole attention, and nothing but your attention. (Just stare wordlessly for two hours–I swear it’s not weird).
Pick them up at a bar
Okay–this one is kind of weird and it may not work for every couple, but I know people who have done it and it’s really strengthened their relationship. Go out for drinks together after dinner and pretend you don’t know each other (it’s like social role playing). Approach them at the bar, buy this attractive stranger a drink, flirt like you’ve never met, and dirty dance with them.
If you and your friends have a favorite place, go with separate groups and then “bump into each other” once you’re there.
This is a good tactic because it allows you to carelessly pretend, and gives you the thrill of “meeting for the first time.” Plus, it’s pretty much guaranteed this glamorous stranger you met in a bar will definitely go home with you.
[Featured Image Credit: Attila Schmidt via Flickr]
6 Ways Every Couple Can Reinvigorate Their Relationship is a post from: LifeDaily